Deciding whether or not to separate, physically or legally, is always hard. And it is hard because of having a child.  Sometimes separation can be a time of forgiveness and renewed commitment. But its effect on Child life is extreme. Broken families are those families where parents don’t live together. Children live with one of the parents but in most cases, they are looked after by grandparents. These cases negatively affect all domains of a child’s life.

A broken family is a lot of drama for a child. Kids get affected by divorce the most, more than the bickering adults and feuding families. Your kid is going to be feeling things. Much of the health problems that affect kids are related to mental health. Mostly regarding psychology, they start checking psychiatrist from an early age. Headaches are also common. Emotional childhood problems are a major cause of this. It is the unhappiness of it all going through the emotional ringer so to speak. The psychological stress could also lead to the onset of asthma.

Shyness is a common trait that kids acquire. It could cause a child to wrap into his own shell. Lack of confidence tends to become common is school activities. Kids can suffer from anxiety too. It can be a very serious mental health condition that can have a debilitating on a kid’s life.

Child’s likely to spiral into a full-blown really serious state of depression. Suicidal thoughts arise because of depression. Kids who feel everything in life is going downhill, a situation they can’t envisage getting any better. They think that escape from life can solve all of the problems they are facing. Personally I witnessed a case similar to this. Parents got separated and at that time they had a five-year-old baby girl. Both parents involved in other parties afterwards and grandmother were there to look after the girl.

One night she looked her in the room and another day she was found senseless but with the grace of God, she was alive. After her treatment and recovery period when she had a session with her regular psychiatrist, she told him everything and reason behind her act as she said I went to meet my father, he built a home for his family but the thing that hurt me was that there was no room made for me. My mom is busy with her family and father too. Nobody cares for me. I also want to have my own home.

 That was really a tear shattering moment. As a wish for home and family made her decide to get escape this way. The broken family doesn’t only affect mental health but also academic development. Because they have got plenty of thoughts bouncing around in their heads, negative thoughts, sadness, the anxiety you name it. And the result could be poor grades, acting out in class or even becoming violent. Their whole world seems to have fallen apart, the two adults they trust most in the world break their trust.

They start distrusting adults. It could lead to trust issues, relationships and afterwards, it could also affect intimate relationships when they become adults. Their maturity level is much more than their real age as this incident makes them grow up very much early. Crying in the room is not uncommon. At night when they are lying in bed often sets off the emotions. Sometimes it may involve financial issues as both partners have their own families and responsibilities so they avoid the child and he has to manage everything for him on his own.

It makes him independent in his early life but it may come out as poverty. Sleeper effect are very common in young girls. They have to bottle everything up. This occurs mostly in teenage the most precious period of life. Night terrors usually occur as a result of something that’s happening in our lives. It’s our brain way of adjusting, copying to change in our lives. Kids tend to suffer more nightmare than adults. They may be scared of dark, or monster under the bed.

There are a lot more effects of broken family on Child. But what we have to do is to understand how to love someone from a broken family. Trust is something that is earned for them, and it is taken very seriously. This might be hard to crack at first but when they let you in, they likely won’t hold anything back. They only focus on the next person but to avoid talking about themselves. You have to talk about positive things to avoid those things which hurt them.  As they are independent so sometimes it gets worst as they are avoiding you and act like they don’t need you. But the truth is different then this you have to understand his feelings.

Meeting anybody is hard for them. As they don’t have a good image of the family. Family is painted on the canvas of their mind as a painful pinching broken glass. A normal family is something only dreams are made of for them. Try to be supportive and introduce them to other families but let them take their time. In any argument, they will only listen to you but when you win their trust they will start to show extreme emotions. This is the point where you get everything of them.

If we talk about marriage, they feel reluctant about that as they think as my parents were not good partners so how can I be a good partner. You don’t have to take it seriously as when they start trusting you and you are making them happy and fulfilled they are going to change their mind. Because of all they have going through as a child, they exactly know how they have to treat their child so they are going to be an amazing parent. Becoming a parent is terrifying for anyone, but they will take it in stride. They will look forward to making little family the best it can be.

A number of studies have concluded that one of the most contributing factor for negative outcome is children is broken family. There are some recommendations for overcoming this. More empirical research is needed for high conflicts measurement. The public education programme is required to raise awareness about the hazards of divorce for children. Parents have to think about their child’s future I am not saying that your decisions are not worthy but your one little mistake or selfishness can cast long-lasting imprints on your child’s soul. And these become permanent with the passage of time. So just think about them and not to be partial. If a compromise is required you have to do it for the sake of your child especially child having age between childhood to adolescence, as these are the life years that build a character. Any trauma from childhood can be worst for a whole life.

Submitted by “Fatima Siddiqa”